It’s been a year, hasn’t it?

The Force Awakens *AND* Rogue One? Damn.

Relax. I know Force was released in December last year, but I didn’t see it until January.

And they bracketed all that other crap happened, culminating in the Electoral College confirming Donald “J is for Jenius” Trump President-Elect. As a Canadian-Australian living on the other side of the world, I am filled with conflicting feelings.

First, immense relief that he’s not *my* president.

And second, countering that, immense terror that the Donald will continue with his toddler-like attention to the world around him, piss off China, start necking with Putin and sell NATO down the river.

The China one is the scariest. Where I’m sitting, an unleashed China starts taking what and whoever it wants, and we’re not that far away from them.

But I shouldn’t worry, right? Trum is, like, a smart guy.

Get’s his intelligence briefings from an e-General who swears there are Arabic signs along the Mexico-US border telling the ISIS travellers which path to take to get to San Diego.

Nominated a barely- C-grade undergrad degree basket case as head of the Department of Energy, just five years after that same whack-a-doodle swore he’d get rid of that very same department.

Nominated a FOP (Friend of Putin), who heads an oil company with significant financial interest in Russia (Putin’s Russia) as Secretary of State.

And his kids and their business versus transition responsibilities – can’t even get into that without endangering my eyes. They’ll roll right the fuck out of my head.

But, on the good side, I was fortunate enough to stay healthy, as did my family. Into Tordon was published and has been getting good reviews. After a few dry months the writing juices started flowing again and I’m only a couple of months behind delivering book ELEVEN. (I really need to take a breath and figure out how to market these things.)

And my full-time job, while incredible demanding from a time and mental point of view is also incredibly rewarding.

So, 2016, take a flying leap at the moon and bring on 2017. I’ve got $20 on a July impeachment.


trump_flicker_face_yessSitting on the other side of this imperfect world, looking at the current goings on in Canada’s pants (that’s the US of A, people. Look at a map for a minute. Imagine the pants’ fly is open and its Florida is dangling.) it’s difficult to tell what’s really going on, compared to what CNNMSNBCFOXDRUDGE tells us is happening.

Sure, Trump is happening. But is it happening as much as the media would like us to think it is happening? I know a lot of Americans. I only know three who I would expect to support Trump and his xenophobic, misogynist rants to (sub)humanity. Any Americans I know other than those three, I sincerely hope, would bypass both Trump and the rubber-faced vampire wannabe Cruz and give them both a wide berth. Extremely wide.

And, inexplicably to me (and to keep the message relatively balanced) there is still a Clinton happening. Clinton (the Mrs) has only her gender going for her. Most people I’ve heard who support her are supporting her because she’s female. Not good enough reason, as far as she’s concerned.

Don’t beat me up. I’m a feminist. I fully support any female running for president, as long as the candidate isn’t her. The history of deceit, both politically and personally, goes back decades. For both of them. To think her and her husband could be back in the Whitehouse is disturbing. And don’t fool yourself – he’ll be in there just as much as she is.

Please, Democrats and Republicans, find a suitable candidate for 2020. It’s too late for this round. Male, female, black, white, latino, I really don’t care. I’d just like it if there was a stable person sitting behind that desk, making decisions that impact the rest of us, even over here in roo-land.

So who’s left?

There’s Bernie, of course. Labelled by most media as an offshoot socialist, he’s probably got the best chance of beating the wing nuts on the far right of the right. Most of what he says makes sense. The “socialist” tag is funny, given the “socialist” programs already in place in the US. He’s not perfect, of course. Nobody is. Not even Trudeau.

But hell, what do I know. I’m a Canadian in Australia, watching from the sidelines, yelling at the ref.

If you’re actually in the US, tell me – reassure me – it’s not that bonkers over there, is it?

trump_flicker_face_yessPresident. Trump.

Doesn’t sound right, does it?

And it’s a bit premature. He’s only acquired 329 of the 1,237 delegates required to secure the nomination, and even if he does, there’s still an election, some ways off in the distant future, that he needs to win.

But it’s no longer beyond the realms of possibility.

And it’s important to consider what would happen if the Donald took up residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Besides the promised exodus of millions to Cape Breton and Australia.

Trump is riding the wave of disgruntled Americans tired of “politics”. He’s playing the Reality Star role with perfection. He knows it doesn’t matter what he says, as long as what he says is outrageous. Supporters, for the most part, have little or no idea what he’ll do as President because he has never stated, unequivocally, what his platform is made of.

His economics are shaky, his budget numbers don’t work and his foreign policy statements are on par with “I’ll beat you up and take your lunch money if you don’t bend to my considerable will”.

That isn’t a president, and it’s not a viable way for a President Trump to govern, and I’m pretty sure he knows that. It’s very likely he’ll win the nomination, Mitt Romney’ threat to block him at the convention notwithstanding. And if it’s a Trump/Hillary contest, my money is with Trump. Not as a supporter, but as a better than even money bet. Clinton falls into the “been there, done that and it was weirdly uncomfortable” pile and there are democrats who have stated that they would vote Trump over Clinton, if Clinton is the nominee.

As an aside, I’m curious to see who his running mate will be. Not Christie. Even if he didn’t already state he was going to see out his term as Governor, the “you’ve got my family hostage, that’s why I’m here” panicked stare while he stood behind Trump on Super Tuesday pretty much confirms he’s not comfortable within punching distance of the Donald.

I doubt he’ll go with Palin, and Rubio and Cruz are probably too proud to attach themselves to him (especially after the virulent slams directed at the man at the latest debate). Maybe his “if she wasn’t my daughter, I’d date her” daughter. Or a cup of pudding.

I’m joking.

I think.

Once in power Trump is going to find the boardroom style doesn’t work. He won’t be able to order the military to commit war crimes. He won’t be able to build a wall the entire length of the US/Mexico border. He won’t be able to save 300 billion in medicare by firmly negotiating with drug companies over the 78 billion currently spent.

And I’m pretty sure he already knows that. There is power in the presidency, but not the kind of power he claims he will wield. There’s a chance that small-L liberal protests will increase and that Trump will direct that more force is applied than is absolutely necessary, but I think those chances are slim.

Trump is viewing this as an investment. I will give you healthy odds that he’ll be out after four years and before the next president is sworn in, “Trump: The Presidency” will be on bookshelves, with the subtitle: “How I conned more than half of America.”

In the meantime, as an outside observer on the other side of the globe, this is pretty entertaining. He’s not an idiot. He just plays one on TV.