Artificial Pseudo-Intelligence

I’ve drafted this post too many times. It’s very straightforward: There is no place for AI in creating art.

I received an email from the South American River ™ this morning informing me (and they seemed proud of the fact) that I had been “…invited to participate in KDP’s beta for audiobooks.” ALL of my books were eligible.

I took one of them through the steps to the point where I could “edit” the audio. First, the voices had no Australian option. Strike one. Second, it pronounced some slang incorrectly. Strike two (though you could alter pronunciation with a very clunky interface). Finally, IT WAS A VIRTUAL PERSON. Strike three.

Shouldn’t have even stepped up to the plate.

I have been aching to release my books as audiobooks. There’s a huge market for them. It’s been impossible to do it in an even remotely financially viable way from Australia, so, on the face of it, this seems like a good alternative.

Except it’s not worth it.

There was a fourth strike, and apologies in advance for the language. (Well, warning in advance. Not apologies.)

In the first chapter, bad guy says other character he had kidnapped to “get in the fucking tub”. (Don’t worry. Bad guy gets apprehended a paragraph later.)

The virtual voice “said” with an inflection that sounded like “get in the tub we use for fornication” as opposed to the way all of us humans would say it. And that wasn’t something I could edit/correct.

AI, as a tool, has some business benefits. It can point someone in the general direction of knowledge. For example, if I need to know what legislative criteria I’d have to follow if I were a telecommunications company, it can provide a list. Though I’d highly recommend you verify it.

When it comes to creating art, it’s A) cheating, B) stealing other people’s work to derive an output and C) pretty poor quality. ‘C’ will slowly go away, and the quality will improve.

A and B are reasons why you still shouldn’t use it.

I will NEVER use AI to write a book, or accept cover art that is AI-created. Solemn word.

Introduction to Mac Durridge, PI

Back in, I don’t know when, while I was living on the Central Coast of NSW, we took the scenic route home along the beach through Budgewoi, and I spotted a cheap sign advertising “PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR” in white letters on black paint, with a mobile number listed below it.

I don’t remember which town. If I could find the place again, I’d take a picture of that sign and use it as a cover. Maybe all my covers for this series of books.

But I wondered—what the hell would a PI do for work in a small town of 3,000? Definitely nothing undercover. After a short time, he’d know all the town’s secrets, as well as those of the surrounding towns.

And thus was born Malcolm Durridge, a former NSW Police Senior Sergeant who left the force under mysterious circumstances. (Perhaps something for a future book. Perhaps.) He now operates a one-man PI shop above a TAB betting establishment in a small, fake town on Tuggerah Lake.

Mac’s cases vary from bank fraud and international conspiracies to a 13-year-old kid paying him $25 to find his stolen coin collection.

He got an old attorney friend whose help he frequently needs, an ex-wife (who is well on her way to becoming a doctor) and Barry (Baz), an indeterminately aged man who chooses to live homeless. Baz serves as his invisible (to the rest of society) source, keeping an eye on things when things need an eye or two.

E-books can be found on Amazon here, with more e-retailers coming soon.

Paperbacks (including Large Print) are on Barnes & Noble: Mac D | A Step Too Far | Hunter/Prey and other good and evil bookstores.

Subscribe (at the top right of this page) to be notified when the next in the series, Fast Track (18 July), is available for pre-order.

fingers typing on a keyboard, much like mine are now.

Why I Write What I Write

I’m sure that if I ever visit a therapist (and we all should at least once in our lives), they’d root out some childhood experience that drives me to write what I write.

It’s not the obsession with writing itself but rather the obsession with crafting crime fiction, where the good guys risk everything to take down the bad guys. I’ve penned a few science fiction stories, too; one was wrapped up in a police procedural, while the other featured good-guy aliens fighting their own planet to save Earth.

Good guys serving up justice.

‘Guys’, of course, is gender-neutral. In my books, you’ll find plenty of female protagonists and female whatever the henchfolk of protagonists are called. Fierce, fighting and undistressed damsels.

But back to it.

After the first half dozen books, I realised what I enjoyed writing were tales of bad people trying something bad and the good people bringing them to justice. Morals were mostly black and white. The baddies rarely had good traits, but the good guys could be morally grey when the situation called for it.

Then, it is just a matter of finding new crimes, new situations where the bad guys could be identifiable as horrible and the good guys appropriately outraged.

Inevitably, when plotting, I’d make the crime incredibly complex with twists, double-crosses and missing heirs. But by the time the first draft is finished, it’s a meat-and-potatoes crime. The complexity comes from how the baddies try to hide it.

You’d think I’d learn, but it happens this way every time.

So, again, back to it.

Good and evil aside, I write crime fiction because I enjoy the problem-solving involved with setting up a crime, deriving a path for the heroes to discover the crime (while at the same time keeping the readers at least half a step behind), and the ultimate squashing of the bounders who had the temerity to violate societies norms.

And these days, it’s a soothing salve when that happens.

How *I* Write a Synopsis

This isn’t how I think everybody should write a synopsis. It’s how *I* write one.

The requested word length will inform how much detail is required, but the structure doesn’t change.

A story naturally breaks into four parts:

  • Act One: Setting up the status quo, building the world and getting the protagonist into the story
  • The first half of Act Two: Into the meat of the story, where the protagonist is learning what they’ve gotten themselves into, up to the Midpoint Twist
  • The second half of Act Two: Revising the journey to fit with the change that comes about in the midpoint, up to the “oh, crap, we’re in the soup” all-is-lost moment
  • Act Three: The final piece of the puzzle is discovered, and the path to the conclusion is clear but riddled with ever-increasing battles until the big bad is overcome.

When a synopsis is requested, I write four paragraphs, mirroring the above list, with as much detail as the allowed word count permits. (I allocate 1/4 of the allowed word count to each paragraph). All major characters are introduced in the first paragraph. Major plot points happen at the end of the first paragraph, the middle and end of paragraphs two and three and at the beginning and end (if there’s a twist, and there should always be a twist) of paragraph four.

The synopsis doesn’t hide key parts of the story. It’s meant to let the reader know that 1) the story is completed (or at least thought through completely) and 2) you, the writer, know how to structure a story.

Now go forth and synopsis.

    A Word about Amazon and Authors (for readers)

    Okay. I hate what Bezos does to his workers, hate how he co-opted the NY Times, and can’t stand the guy as much as any other sane person. But there’s a way we can make him lose money while you read books.

    This works only if you’re a heavy reader. I promise it will remove all of your justifiable guilt about giving him money.

    I’ll use an Australian example because it’s Australian numbers I know

    Kindle Unlimited costs $13.99 AUD

    For every page you read with Kindle Unlimited, I get around 1/3 of a penny.

    If you do the math, once you’ve exceeded 4200 Kindle pages in a month, Amazon is paying the author(s) more money than you’re paying Amazon.

    That’s 10 and a half books. I’ve seen the prodigious output (input?) from some of you readers. That’s barely more than a week’s worth of reading.

    I think nine of my books are on Kindle Unlimited. And if you’re willing to play this “kill them by a thousand cuts” game, there are over 90,000 ebooks on Amazon enrolled in Kindle Unlimited.

    Fire at will.

    Read a good book or a dozen.

    It’s Getting Closer

    After 5 a.m. mornings for the past month, getting a couple of hours of writing in before the bill-paying job starts, I’ve completed the first drafts of both Mac D’s “Fast Track” and Nick Harding’s “Do Not Pass Go”.

    Now, these are first drafts. Like all first drafts–everyone’s first drafts–they are shit. But that’s okay. They’ll sit for a month while I work setting up promotional activities, and then I’ll polish those turds until they gleam.

    Both Private Investigators are working on the same case. They don’t know it at first, but near the mid-point, their paths cross, and by the third act, they are working together.

    Both stories are different, from different POVs and with different methodologies. Writing the same scenes from different POVs, and scenes specific to one detective over the other was a challenge and a blast.

    If you want to catch up with their previous (non-interlocking) cases, you can find Mac Durridge’s here, and Nick Harding’s here.

    Stay tuned at this site for updates. If you’re interested in being an ARC reader in May, drop me a note.

    We Wrote a Book in a Day. Now what?

    Months ago, five very talented writers and a kick-ass artist and I wrote a book in a day for the Kid’s Cancer Project. It was a blast getting together with writers I’ve worked with before and meeting new faces.

    We wrote “Queen Ruby’s Lottery”, a C.S. Lewis-styled story set in Manly, NSW, featuring Ruby, Queen of an alternate reality community.

    The whole project was to get sponsorship to help fund the Kids Cancer Project. If you’re interested in the Write-a-Book-in-a-Day concept, you can read more about it here. Very generous sponsors of our team helped us raise of $3,300 this year. All told, over the years that we’ve done this, we’ve raised over $15,000.

    And this year, we’re doing something different.

    We’ve had the book published. On December 16th at the Manly Village Public School, a bunch of the co-authors will be at the Manly Lions stall from 7:00 am to 1:00 pm with copies of the books for sale. Signing is optional (and at no extra charge). ALL proceeds go to the Kid’s Cancer Project.

    (Stay tuned for links to order the book online. Maybe no signatures, but profits for the first year — ALL profits) go to Kids’ Cancer Project.)

    If you’re in the area (and I know many of you aren’t — I’ve got readers from all over the world and am grateful for that), pop by, say hi, and maybe pick up a copy.

    The book is available on Kindle if you can’t make it but still want to support the Kid’s Cancer Project.

    Nick Harding’s 4th Case

    I’m halfway through the first draft of this story. Nick’s in a rough place and while he will inevitably prevail, I’m a bit stumped how he’s going to get out of it. But he has to before the next chapter, because that chapter started with him out of rough place.

    Plotting versus Pantsing is a facile argument. I’ve got the first two Acts plotted out very well. But the plot isn’t by any means the final story. This is how I’ve described this chapter in Scrivener:

    I’ll find my way to the end. I’ll use dialogue to exposition some stuff that needs expositing (are these even words? Who knows?), including what information I need to get out of the antagonist at this point of the story.

    This is also a good opportunity to close out any minor inconsistencies that might have popped up so far. You’ll have to tie them up at some point.

    This chapter is almost like a bottle episode in a long-running TV show. It’s in one location, has minimal characters and a very tightly constrained information flow.

    And, as a plotter, I’m not ashamed to say it is almost 100% pantsed. Going in, I have no idea how I’m coming out.

    I just know where I’ll be when I do.

    Anyway. It’s still a work in progress. I have no idea what the title will be yet. Cover art is still a daydream. But I know it will be available June 1, 2024

    A Podcast, Maybe?

    black headset on condenser microphone

    I’ve been bouncing around this idea for the past month or so and would like to hear your thoughts.

    While the first draft of my next Nick Harding is percolating (a few months away — I’m only halfway through writing it), I was considering starting a podcast called “First Chapters”.

    Each episode would focus on one of my books. I’d start with a brief story about the inspiration for the book, then read the first chapter. If it takes off, I’ve got local writer friends I’d invite as guests to read their first chapter.

    I’d publish an episode a week, and with my current library, that would be twenty episodes.

    Is this something you’d listen to? Let me know in the comments.

    Author Talk, Campbelltown Library

    Local author Tony McFadden will be discussing his latest book at HJ Daley Library. The evening promises to be both informative and enjoyable, allowing attendees to delve into the world of Dead Tomorrow and get a glimpse into Tony’s creative mind.

    Tony McFadden’s latest novel, Dead Tomorrow, is an engaging and thrilling read that is sure to capture your attention. With a total of eighteen books under his belt, Tony has proven himself to be a master of the writing process, particularly in the genre of crime fiction.

    As a local resident himself, Tony has used Campbelltown as the backdrop for one of his novels, adding an authentic touch to his storytelling. This makes the upcoming event at Campbelltown Library even more special, as Tony will be discussing his latest book and sharing insights into his writing process. It’s an excellent opportunity for fans of crime fiction and aspiring writers to gain valuable knowledge and be part of an entertaining evening.

    As an added bonus, there will be a lucky door prize, where one lucky attendee will have the chance to win a signed copy of Tony’s latest novel. Make sure to attend the event for the chance to win this exclusive prize.

    Don’t miss out on this exciting opportunity to meet the talented Tony McFadden and discover the captivating world of Dead Tomorrow. Mark your calendars for the event and get ready for an entertaining evening.

    If you require an AUSLAN interpreter please notify the Library at time of booking.

    Register here.

    When

    • Thursday, 24 August 2023 | 06:00 PM – 08:00 PM

    Location

    • HJ Daley Library, 1 Hurley Street, Campbelltown, 2560

    Cost

    This is a free event.

    Contact

    HJ Daley Library

    02 4645 4444

    library@campbelltown.nsw.gov.au